Thoughts of a Freelance Classical Musician Mom
How do musician moms do it all?
Since I became a mother in 2020 the most burning question for me has been, “How on earth do other musician moms do it?!” How do they manage their professional lives (practicing, performing, and arranging childcare with ever-changing schedules), while also being emotionally present, devoted parents, and keeping up with the never-ending changes and hurdles of raising little ones?
“How on earth do other musician moms do it?!”
Hi! My name is Deanna Petre and I’m a freelance violist based in Minneapolis and am a co-founder of The Fearless Artist Mastermind. I lived in Paris for the last ten years, where I studied, entered the freelance world, traveled and performed all over Europe, met my amazing husband, got married, and then became a mother - during the pandemic!
The reason you haven't seen me much on social media is… Kids!! When you become a mom, it's like taking on another full-time job, in a career path you didn't train for, and learning everything on the spot.
Why don’t we see more musician moms sharing online?
I’m a mom of two and have been reflecting on this crazy, miraculous, and wondrous journey called Motherhood and my experience, especially as a musician. From pregnancy through raising toddlers, I’ve been continually amazed at the endless emotional and physical changes I’ve experienced as a mother, as well as the growth and development of each stage of babyhood and beyond. I’ve wrestled with the desire to work or to not work, the pull of wanting to be with the baby, and wanting to be outperforming. I’ve struggled to blend my identities of “musician” and “mother.” Mostly I’ve felt alone in these thoughts - wondering how other mothers work through these feelings and what they experience.
“I want to open up the conversation about what it looks like to be a mother and a professional classical musician.”
And it occurred to me: the reason I don’t know how other moms do it is because it’s not talked about much publicly! Are we all just figuring things out on our own as we go? After all, new moms are in a vacuum portal, a cocoon, just focusing on getting through each day (often sleep-deprived and exhausted). If and when we are ready to reemerge into society we put on a smile and pretend as if nothing has changed (when in reality everything has changed).
This is why I want to talk about this. I want to open up the conversation about what it looks like to be a mother and a professional classical musician. There’s no one way to go about it - I want to share my experience but also hear from other moms and celebrate all the different ways to be a mother and a musician!
What this blog space will be all about…
I hope that in sharing these experiences other musician moms can feel less isolated, can feel seen, and hopefully get a laugh in here or there!
Over the next months, I will write about:
Blending identities and other internal struggles
Things no one told me to prepare for (like my concert clothes not fitting the same postpartum)
Being true to ourselves - our values and unique desires as mothers
How my priorities have shifted
How I deal with the inevitable comparison with other moms
Funny anecdotes (pumping without a pump in the bathroom during rehearsal breaks was delightful)
And much more!
So if you’re a classical musician and also a mom, expecting a baby, or just thinking about it, this blog is made especially with you in mind. Made with a lot of love. From one mom to another.
Deanna
Does this blog resonate with you? Leave your comments below!
