Seasons of a Musician Mom: Understanding That You Can’t Do Everything at Once
Why It’s Okay if Your Music Career Looks Different Now
When you are a new musician mom, ready to venture back into the real world after being in the newborn bubble, it can be so tough to navigate the enormous changes in your life—changes that now impact your career.
You are no longer responsible for just yourself, free to accept performances and work as the opportunities come. Suddenly, every gig, rehearsal, or tour comes with extra considerations.
“Who will watch the baby? How will I manage with a continual lack of sleep? Does it pay enough to be worth it? If I say no, will I still get called for future gigs? Can I handle the mental and emotional shift between home and stage?”
If I had to sum up how I first felt as a new mom and a working musician, these series of juxtapositions really sum it up:
You miss your baby when you are off rehearsing / You miss rehearsing and being around other musicians when you are home with the baby
Going to a gig feels like a drag compared to enjoying sweet moments with your little one / Going to a gig feels like a break from taking care of your little one
You’d rather be in pajamas cuddling with your baby at 8pm than on stage / You feel amazing to be back on stage performing at 8pm
When I was first back performing - I could move back and forth between these feelings at any given moment.
Motherhood, like music, moves in different rhythms. Some seasons are filled with intensity—late-night feedings, baby colic and developmental changes, exhaustion, and stepping away from the stage. Sometimes just trying to manage life feels like running underwater. Other seasons bring more balance, and as your child grows and you find ways to reclaim parts of your musical identity. And some seasons are about letting go of pressure altogether—knowing that just because your career looks different now, it doesn’t mean it’s over. It just means it’s evolving.
In the early days of motherhood, you might play fewer concerts, focus on teaching in order to have more stability (financially and schedule-wise), or turn to at-home creative work like composing, arranging, or another outlet. As your child grows, you may find your way back to performing in ways that feel sustainable and joyful. And this doesn’t have to happen at any particular time or on anyone else’s timeline. I always remind myself to trust my instinct - and that if being with my kids more at any given period feels right, then I’m doing what’s right for me and my family. Infancy through toddlerhood is such an incredible and special time for bonding - it’s a season I do not wish to be rushed through. I want to be present as much as I choose, and take on work when I feel ready. I also imagine that once they are school-aged we’ll be in a different season where I may find myself with more time and energy to take on more for my own performing career. (Side note: I am still performing, just not as much as I did before kids.)
The key is accepting that you don’t have to do everything all at once. We only have so much time and energy. Priorities can shift and just because this season is different from the last doesn’t mean you’ve lost your place in the world of music.
Your Career Isn’t Over—It’s Just Changing
If you feel this constant push and pull between motherhood and music, you’re not alone. It’s okay if your career doesn’t look the way it used to. It’s okay to take a break, to feel conflicted, to redefine what success means for you now.
The most important thing? Showing yourself kindness and grace. Listen to your instincts, give yourself time and space to reflect on your needs and desires when it comes to parenting. The joy for me in being a freelance musician and a parent is that I can fully control my schedule and my time - it allows me to have crazy busy weeks, and at other times weeks of calm. I can have busy teaching days, and I can also have “mommy days” where I am simply enjoying time with my kids. It’s a beautiful give-and-take that I find refreshing and fulfilling.
Because just like in music, no two journeys are the same, no two careers are the same—and that’s what makes them beautiful.
Have you found that your relationship with your music career has shifted since becoming a parent? Do you find yourself in a different “season” than you expected? Share your experiences in the comments below!
